Respecting Two-Spirit Identity and Indigenous Culture
An Indigenous Two-Spirit resident in his 60s has his identity dismissed as “just being gay” and his cultural practices go unaccommodated. He feels culturally erased.
The scenario
Mr. Stone is 64 and Anishinaabe. He is Two-Spirit — a specific identity rooted in his culture that encompasses sexual, gender, and spiritual diversity. He uses he/him and sometimes they/them. He moved into your long-term care home four months ago. He smudges as part of his spiritual practice and has asked for space and accommodation to do so. He has also asked that his care team understand that Two-Spirit is not the same as “gay.”
At a care conference, a staff member says, “So, you are gay — got it, we will make sure your partner can visit.” Mr. Stone corrects them gently: “Two-Spirit is its own thing. It is part of my culture, not just who I am attracted to.” The staff member nods but later tells a colleague, “I think he just means gay, but I didn’t want to argue.” His request to smudge has been deferred three times — “we will look into the smoke alarm policy.”
This week, Mr. Stone told a PSW he trusts: “I left my community to come here for care, and now I feel like my culture stayed behind. They call me something I am not, and they will not let me pray the way I pray. I am disappearing a little more every day.”
The challenge
What makes this hard—and what is at stake.
What makes this hard is that the harm is mostly invisible to the staff causing it. Calling Two-Spirit “just gay” feels like a small shorthand to someone who does not know the difference. Deferring the smudging request feels like a reasonable policy delay. But to Mr. Stone, each one erases a piece of who he is — his identity is relabelled, and his spiritual practice is quietly shelved. The colonial pattern is real: Indigenous identities have been renamed and Indigenous practices restricted for generations, and this home is doing it again without meaning to.
The stakes are cultural and spiritual safety. A resident who cannot practise his faith and whose identity is misnamed is not just “uncomfortable” — he is being erased. And the fix is not only about Mr. Stone; it is about whether the home can make room for Indigenous practices at all.
Your response
What would you do in this moment?
Take a moment to think about how you would respond. There is no “right” answer—just your thoughtful response. Type it below before you look at the possible approaches.
The fact that you are thinking about this shows you care.
Possible responses
Not “right” vs “wrong”—more helpful and less helpful. Reveal them one at a time, or all at once.
People are trying their best—including the staff in the less helpful approaches. Learning takes practice. You are doing the right thing by thinking this through.
What matters most
Key takeaways
- Two-Spirit is a distinct Indigenous identity, not a synonym for LGBTQ. Use the person’s own words, always.
- Spiritual practice is care. A smudging request deserves a time, a space, and a plan — not a third “we will look into it.”
- When you do not understand an identity, get curious, not defensive. The resident is the teacher.
- If your home accommodates any faith, it must accommodate Indigenous practice on the same footing. “Secular” is not a cover for “only the familiar.”
Reflection & discussion
Conversation starters for your team huddle
These are not interrogations—they are ways to talk together about what would help.
- How would you respond if a resident corrected a term you have been using for years?
- Has our home ever accommodated smudging or other Indigenous practices? If not, what would it take to start?
- Who in our community could guide us on Indigenous cultural safety if we do not know?
- How can we make sure “we will look into it” never becomes a permanent answer?
Related resources
Keep practicing
A Racialized Gay Couple: Multiple Forms of Discrimination